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December 20, 2012
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Sora
Good evening everybody. You may know me as Sora. The main protagonist who wield the mighty Keyblade.

[Riku clears throat]

Sora
We, all of us here at Kingdom Hearts would like to wish you a Merry Christmas.

Larxene
Or a Happy Hanukkah!

Luxord
Happy St. Stephen's Day!

Roxas
What about Kwanzaa?

Demyx
Silly Roxas. There is no black people in Japamerica.

[A Shadow Heartless became sad]

Beat
Yo. Yo. Wha do ya mean there's no black people in Kingdom Hearts? Wha about yours truly?

Neku
For the last time you idiot. You're not black. You're not even Asian.

Rhyme
Sorry big brother. Better luck next time.

Beat
That sucks yo!

Vanitas
Can we move on? This sweater is itchy.

Kairi
Ok, we've prepared a musical holiday greeting that we would like to sing for you.

Xion
Dem-Dem. Would you mind start the music?

Demyx
Sure.

[Demyx starts his guitar]

Beat
Oh yeah! The party is about to go on!

[Beat follow up with drums]

Lea
You know, I heard we can say dirty words in this song.

Xigar
Ha,ha,ha. Slut! Bitch! Whore! Cum! Fffffuuuuuuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Isa
Enough already!

Terra
Okay, okay. Take it easy kids. [clears throat]

[synthesized orchestra begins playing]


♫The snow is shimmering silently
As songs of carollers sparkles happily
And wishes of every children fills with glee♫

Vanitas
♫Santa, don't fuck my x-mas order
Or I'll stab you with awesome Kingdom Key!♫

Larxene
Ha! Good one.

[Larxene high-five Vanitas
]

Ventus
Great, thanks for ruining the Christmas mood.

Vanitas
What can I say. It's a gift.

Aqua
Naminé, what do you want for Christmas?

Naminé
Well, let's see...
♫I wanna new sketchbook and a pen
To draw pictures of my friends
Is all I really ask for this year!♫

Aqua
That's nice.

Luxord
♫Plenty of rum, and lots of scotch
'Til I'm shit-face and piss my crotch
Is all I really ask for this year!♫

Ienzo
You drunk. What about you Lea?

Lea
♫Something flammable to ignite
To flash the skies through the night
Then installed up Xemnas's ass.♫
Ha!

Marluxia
♫I wanna be a beauty queen
High above the silver screen
Strauting down in the next Walt Disney première♫

Naminé, Luxord, Marluxia, & Lea
♫All of these joyous wishes
And holiday cheers
Is all I really ask for this year.♫

Lea
What do you want, Shiki?

Shiki
♫I wanna wear a stylish skirt
And rock-on in 777's rock concert
That's all I really ask for this year!♫

Xigbar
Who the hell is 777?

Neku
Just some lame musicians back in our world.

Shiki
Neku! They are not lame!

Neku
Moving on!

Larxene
♫I wanna a man, who's hott and bad
Not just some deadbeat dad
That's all I really ask for this year♫

Vanitas
Hey baby.

Larxene
Buzz off twerp.

Demyx
Now me!
♫I want a sitar~ big and blue♫

Xigbar
♫And Ienzo to come out of the closet♫

Ienzo
♫Shut up you!♫

Master Xehanort
♫Why won't you two just go away and die!♫

Terra
Master Xehanort?

Lea
♫I just want Roxas close to me♫

Xigbar
♫I do too♫

Xion and Naminé
♫And so do we♫

Naminé
♫Back off whore he's mmmmiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!♫

Demyx, Xigbar, Ienzo, Master Xehanort, Terra, Lea, Xion and Naminé
♫All of these joyous wishes
And holiday cheers
Is all I really ask for this year.♫

Riku
Okay Rhyme. it's your turn.

Rhyme
♫I wanna brand new grey barrette
To place on top of my head
That's all I really ask for this year♫

Kairi
That would look cute

Rhyme
I know

Riku
♫I'd love it if they don't harass
Every fan-girls squeezing my ass
That's all I really ask for this year♫

[Someone squeezing Riku's butt]

Riku
Hey!

[Olette giggle]


Xemnas
♫Is it awfully much to have
Just this one wish for me
To rule Kingdom Hearts full of anger and rage?♫

Sora
Not in your lifetime

Aqua
♫I want us to live together happily
Terra, Ven, Van and me
As one great familllllyyyyy♫

All
♫All of these joyous wishes
And holiday cheers
Is all I really ask for this year.♫

Neku
Is the song over yet?

Joshua
There's more people to sing my anti-social friend

Even
♫I want to play in the snow
Like what I used to have long ago
That's all I really ask for this year?

Lea
That's sounds terrific

Ienzo
♫I want a library big and great
So, I can spend all day reading
With that special someone that I can more than interrelate♫

Roxas
I wonder who that is?

Ansem the Wise
♫I wanna a gift that doesn't stink♫

Luxord
♫How about vodka?♫

Ansem the Wise
♫I don't drink.
Last time that happen, you appeeeeaaaarrrr!!!!♫

Luxord
Wait.....what?

Even, Ienzo, and Ansem the Wise
♫All of these joyous wishes
And holiday cheers
Is all I really ask for this year.♫

Luxord
Wait...wait....hold on. Let's go back for a moment.

Sora
The princesses wants to join in

Aurora
♫I wanna sleep in a softer bed♫

Belle
♫I wanna boyfriend that doesn't shed♫

Aurora and Belle
♫Is all I really ask for this year.♫

Snow White
♫I want to pick lots of chrysanthemum
I have seven reasons♫

Yuffie
♫I wanna find a gift for my friend Squall♫

Leon
That's Leon.

Dilan
♫I just want lots of cooking stuff♫

Sephiroth
♫One final battle, to see whose tough♫

Cloud
♫Why don't you go out and chase cars you queeeeer!♫

Marluxia
Look who's talking.

All
♫All of these joyous wishes
And holiday cheers
Is all I really ask for this year.♫

Sora
Aren't we asking just a bit too much this year?

Wakka
Sora man. It's Christmas. Get in the spirit already

Quasimodo
♫I want to dance in Paris and be acquaint
Live with the people with no complaint
That's all I really ask for this year.♫

Mulan
♫I want some new clothes to wear♫

Jasmine
♫I want to soar up in the air♫

Mulan and Jasmine
♫That's all I really ask for this year♫

Donald
♫I wanna spend Christmas with my nephew three
And watch them modestly comport
Convorting with Uncle Scrooge's social class♫

Roxas
Does anyone understand what he's saying?

Pence
Nope

Alice
♫I wouldn't mind if I got a toy♫

Sally and Jack Skeleton
♫Or some Christmas Joy.
Each and every yeeeaaarrr!!!!♫

Donld, Alice, Sally and Jack Skeleton
♫All of these joyous wishes
And holiday cheers
Is all I really ask for this year.♫

Ariel
♫I want to visit worlds unknown♫

King Mickey
♫And Pluto wants a giant bone♫

Ariel and King Mickey
♫That's all I really ask for this year!♫

King Mickey
How about it boy?

Pluto
Arf! Arf!

[Mickey laugh as Pluto lick him]

Cloud and Leon
♫We both want a brand new double edge♫

Cinderella
♫I would like more lemon pledge♫

Cloud, Leon, and Cinderella
♫That's all I really ask for this year!♫

Leon
Really?

Cinderella
Well somebody have to clean the castle.

Joshua
♫I just want to take Neku under my wings♫

Pooh
♫A yummy smacker-al of hunny♫

Hercules
♫I want find something for Meg!!!!♫

Lexaeus
♫I just want a little kiss♫

Sam
♫We don't have Christmases♫

Quorra, Kevin, and Tron
♫We celebrate Cyberoptic New Year!!!!!!!!!!♫

Everyone
♫All of these joyous wishes
And holiday cheers
Is all I really ask.... for..... this...... year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!♫

Happy Holiday From All of Us At Kingdom Hearts!!!!!!!



[Sora closed the scene and Tinkerbell does her little wand thing at the end]
I try to put every Kingdom Hearts (main) characters as humanly as possible. If your favourite people is not here...Oh well. I want to finish this before Christmas.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconreyjjj:
ReyJJJ Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
TLDR, but even the beginning was funny!
Reply
:iconhawkrider:
HawkRider Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, that was a lot of people. I love it! And I feel so sorry for Neku and Vanitas... How they must have hated that song...
Reply
:iconancientwisemon:
AncientWisemon Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student Writer
Secretly they don't
Reply
:iconhawkrider:
HawkRider Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Nah, I definitely think at least Neku didn't.
Reply
:iconrenathexv:
RenaTheXV Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012
Put. This. On. YOUTUBE. Please?? It would be a great Christmas video X'D
Reply
:iconsnowcloud8:
snowcloud8 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student General Artist
please tell me there's a youtube version of this
Reply
:icondasy13:
dasy13 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
hahah holy crap thats hilarious!!!! XD and you got everyones personality perfectly (especially Xigbar and Luxord :D)
Reply
:iconlightanddarkheart:
LightandDarkHeart Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
lol! this is awesome!
Reply
:iconoceanr1:
OceanR1 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
this is funny
Reply
:iconlovelyandorra:
LovelyAndorra Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Lol that's one way to spend the holidays awesome xD
Reply
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